Truth Of Pain
by Wink At J00
Summary: An older Harry talks of his life and of pain and that people got it all wrong. Then someone comes along and helps him. (may lead into pg-13 later)
1. Default Chapter

Fic I somehow suddenly thought of, I'm not even sad now, I'm just writing this.  
  
"Truth of Pain"  
-Wink At J00  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Pottter and I am not making profit off of this.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
No one will know the truth of pain. In fact it is something that I beleive I have learned because, indeed, I learned to accept pain, almost to welcome it. This statement would make any soul beleive I am insame, right? Well, if only I caoould explain what I think: to zap my thoughts into your own brain, for you to fully understand me. I beleive then you could understand me, and understand pain. But since I cannot do this, for there is no spell or potion that I am aware of that does this, I shall simply converse this to you.  
  
As a infant, I watched my parents die at the hands of a Dark Lord. Certainly, this was only the very beginning of *true* pain. Now, do not think of Voldemort firing the Killing Curse at me just yet, just at my parents. I was a baby, very young, and incabable of doing anything to stop him. As an infant, like all babies are when they are so young, I was highly aware of things. I could sence them, sence my mother's and father's love seeping into my body, their courage, their humor, I could sence their soul. While Peter Pettigrew ever came around, I would cry, his immence evil and betrayal to my parents hurt me. Truely, my parents never understood why I cried then, but I did.   
  
Are you laughing now? Saying, oh, this guy is nuts, he can't sence things as a child, and if he could he wouldn't remember either? I assure you are wrong, my friends. My remembering this is a different story of my life, one that I am sure to come across while I tell my story of pain. But beleive me, I do not lie in my telling of my life. Why should I, I have no reason, shurly I am famous enough. Hah, more pain, but that is much later.   
  
But I got off track, back to when I was a baby. Pettigrew upset me for I senced his soul. And an evil soul it was, and it hurt my "light" soul. The night Voldemort came, I could litterally feel him about a mile away. I could feel the hatefulness, his wrath, and I knew what he would be doing. But I was, a baby, an infant, helpless and speachless, I could not prevent it. That is a taste of Fate's wrath. I had not known that Voldemort would attack me after, I was a baby, and as a baby I hadn't cared what happened to me much, I didn't know any better to what would happen, but only to what would happen to my parents. While the "evil man" as I thought then, for I did not know who he was, drove nearer, I had cried, and wailed. I frightened my mother so much. I beleive that this extrea caring for me also caused some of the backfire on Voldemort. When he did come, my father tried to hold him off, telling my mother to leave and live on, taking me with her. However, she did not do this, if James were to die then so would she. My mother held me to her heart till the very second she died. Spying me, Voldemort smiled so cruely. Oh, the pleasure to kill an infant in his mothers dead arms! Yes, the corrupted man thought that. And he fired, just as he wanted to, the horrible, elegant, powerful, acid green curse twisting and made it's way towads me. Voldemort had great aim, that is why there is a scar in the middle of my foreheard, perfect aim, used for wrong-doing. What happened next, people would never know for many years to come. But somehow, the curse back-fired and lead Voldemort into years to recover and years of pain. With people thinking Voldemort was dead, only having this scar on my head to remember, I was brought to the Dursleys.  
  
Ah, my relatives! There they were, I had a life to live yet! But when I awoke to that infernal woman's screams I senced her soul and it was not evil, but I could tell, my life with these people would be horrible. And it was. I was beaten, starved, malutritioned, emotionally a wreck, and they caused it all. They caused suffer upon me, shadowed me, never let me with people, even tried to kill the magic from me..but that would never happen. Ah, but that's for tomarrow, I leave off tonight, and we will begin again later.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
Did ya like? was it too much..? meaning his additude? I hope you've enjoyed. I plan on updateing this peice really fast. it's suprisingly easy to write! hehe! Well please reveiw, tata! 


	2. sorry AN: read

This is an apology for taking so freaking long that it's not even funny. I haven't been working on any of my chapters to any fics, or making any new ones. I got into poetry and making an online diary so I can leak my feelings out. Writing does help me leak my feelings out, but it's different when you use a character and not your own. I'm wanting to make a novel... With origional characters. I've kinda made up a story line in my head and a few characters. Not sure if I will post it or not. I prolly will. I kinda sunk into a bad case of depression. And side-effects of depression include losing intrest in things you use to like. I sorta couldn't read fanfics or write them, and well I'm trying to make myself better. So I'm going to write...for you guys. Cause your reveiws make me feel better. As for being depressed, well ::shrugs:: can't do much but complain. And when I complain, I turn into a virus and make everyone else upset. So ::shrugs:: I'll live. And one of my friends (besnaped) has been missing, and the one fic "Truth of Pain" was written while I was talking to her and all, so until I talk to her again, I'm not writing that. I know you guys are mad at me for never updating, but here's how I got so far:  
  
To Begin: three paragraphs and first AN are done. It won't be done for a while. So sorry! I really am!  
  
Last Ounce of Pain...Gone: three paragraphs too.  
  
Harry Potter and the Struggle of Darkness: what the hell, I can't even remember this fic.. Ah shit, I'm screwed, aren't I? ::goes and reads end of what I wrote:: ooh it's this one! Yeah, this is probably the one I have in my head what's going to happen the most, but I haven't started on it, so I'm sorry!  
  
Unexpected Changes: nothing because everything I was working on got deleted at some point.  
  
Harry Potter and the Forgotten Souls: I doubt I'll continue this. I don't know what I was thinking when I began it. Well actually I know what I had in mind, but it never came out the way I wanted it to.   
Guys, I'm really sorry about this. My brother at one point was deleting things and deleted *everything* one the computer. So that was a huge downfall. Well this is all I can do. Bye bye now  
  
Love and Luck  
~Steph 


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